Managing our Emotional Feeling States.

Managing our emotions can be a challenge. It takes practise. We talk about ‘raising our vibration’ and living from our highest potential but often find ourselves conflicted by difficult feelings that push our limits. Most of us have fallen victim to the beast within. In these testing times it doesn’t take much to rouse!

Our frustration mounts as we wait in line behind a particularly slow customer, we dissolve into road-rage if someone cuts us off, we feel our blood boil as we process political decisions shown in the media or we lose it with our partner over a well-trodden conflict.

Screen Shot 2016-12-13 at 3.13.30 PM (1)We are only human after all, here to feel and express the full gamut of our emotions. This is part of becoming whole and intergrating our shadow.

If we suppress these feelings, banishing them to the nether regions of our unconscious, we risk a potential outburst at a later stage. Or worse, health repercussions as our body takes the brunt of our denial.

portrait-child-hands-57449It is helpful to find a path of acceptance rather than suppression or rejection.

One of the techniques I use with my clients for managing difficult emotions engages the practice of acceptance. Once we have accepted the difficult emotion we can allow a space to replace. You can then ask yourself: ‘What would you rather feel instead?’


Try the following exercise:

  1. NOTICE – Identify the emotion or feeling as it arises
  2. ACCEPT – Put your hand on your heart space and say to yourself “I am completely here with you. You are safe to feel and express exactly what you feel right now.” (Essentially you are communicating with your inner child)
  3. ASK – “What would I rather feel instead?”bird-fly-gespentisch-night-53989
  4. BREATHE – Take a conscious breath and see it filling your heart space. You can imagine your breath as a colour, coming in through your crown chakra at the top of your head and flowing into your heart. You are using the breath and your intention to support you as you change that feeling state.

See how this works for you, let that shadow side merge and allow your soul to soar! You can also use this in your daily practise as a heart focused meditation.

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Our ‘Survival Mind’

Why does our mind often get stuck thinking the worst?

Back in the days of the caveman, our mind was built for survival. What were we protecting ourselves from and what were we looking out for?

Yes, that’s not a tricky question to answer – it was the potential attack from wild animals! We were at risk of being eaten as we hunted and fished for our food.

So our brain was helpfully designed to look for danger in order to protect us. However, our brain still does this danger reconnaissance today. Which can leave us thinking the worst with a mind plagued by anxiety.

This is why we find it a challenge to stop our mind thinking about possible threats. Even small things – we tend to focus on what might go wrong.

It may only be something tiny that catches our attention… the way a person looks at us, something someone says, not getting something we think we need… and thats it! Our mind is off! We are stuck with these thoughts whizzing around our heads for hours. And our thoughts can dictate our whole day!

And these thoughts can lead to difficult feelings.

We feel stressed, anxious, angry or sad. We find these thoughts and feelings hard to get away from. Sometimes there seems to be no escape.

This is one of the reasons we learn to train our caveman brain or our ‘survival mind’ using meditation. 

We can do this gently without judging ourselves, our busy thoughts and our unsettled emotions. We can do this by focusing our attention using meditation and awareness techniques. We aim to observe our thoughts and let them go by not attaching to them. See Not Attaching to your Thoughts and Emotions if you’re new to this way of thinking.