Managing our Emotional Feeling States.

Managing our emotions can be a challenge. It takes practise. We talk about ‘raising our vibration’ and living from our highest potential but often find ourselves conflicted by difficult feelings that push our limits. Most of us have fallen victim to the beast within. In these testing times it doesn’t take much to rouse!

Our frustration mounts as we wait in line behind a particularly slow customer, we dissolve into road-rage if someone cuts us off, we feel our blood boil as we process political decisions shown in the media or we lose it with our partner over a well-trodden conflict.

Screen Shot 2016-12-13 at 3.13.30 PM (1)We are only human after all, here to feel and express the full gamut of our emotions. This is part of becoming whole and intergrating our shadow.

If we suppress these feelings, banishing them to the nether regions of our unconscious, we risk a potential outburst at a later stage. Or worse, health repercussions as our body takes the brunt of our denial.

portrait-child-hands-57449It is helpful to find a path of acceptance rather than suppression or rejection.

One of the techniques I use with my clients for managing difficult emotions engages the practice of acceptance. Once we have accepted the difficult emotion we can allow a space to replace. You can then ask yourself: ‘What would you rather feel instead?’


Try the following exercise:

  1. NOTICE – Identify the emotion or feeling as it arises
  2. ACCEPT – Put your hand on your heart space and say to yourself “I am completely here with you. You are safe to feel and express exactly what you feel right now.” (Essentially you are communicating with your inner child)
  3. ASK – “What would I rather feel instead?”bird-fly-gespentisch-night-53989
  4. BREATHE – Take a conscious breath and see it filling your heart space. You can imagine your breath as a colour, coming in through your crown chakra at the top of your head and flowing into your heart. You are using the breath and your intention to support you as you change that feeling state.

See how this works for you, let that shadow side merge and allow your soul to soar! You can also use this in your daily practise as a heart focused meditation.

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Our Chattering Mind

Let’s observe our mind for a few minutes. What does it spend its time doing?

We can imagine it is like a chattering monkey, jumping from one thought to the next. Restless, random and unsettled. It might be in the past, it hops into the future and it is rarely on the present moment.

On challenging days there is a troop of them!

Our mind…

  • Worries – we think about fears both real and imaginary
  • Recalls and relives hurtful things that have happened in the past
  • Lists our to-do items
  • Creates catastrophic ‘what-if’ scenarios for the future
  • Judges whats happening in the present

What can we do about this?

Meditation is a way of training the mind to focus. We can learn to tame this animal mind of ours. This can be done gently without forcing the mind to be a different way.

If we are irritable or angry we accept that this is the way things are in this moment. We notice the thoughts and feelings and give the mind some space. Trying to get in there to fix our mind can often make things worse. It can leave us feeling there is something wrong.

child-meditation

So, we sit patiently with our monkey mind and watch it with a sense of curiosity. We just notice the thoughts and feelings that arise. And most importantly, we do not attach to them…

See Not Attaching to your Thoughts and Emotions